- Loneliness. Where is God in the midst of this? How could He allow me to go through such hurt?
- Helplessness. No matter what I do, I can't change the past and I can't escape the reality of this pain.
- Hopelessness. I know I will likely struggle with the same issues my whole life; when will it ever end?
First, I've come to realize that Satan is trying to use my pain to take me away from God. I can recognize the pain, which is real, but then the doubts and negativity in my mind take over. These are not real - they are lies that the Deceiver is trying to convince me of so that I will serve him and not God. This has been a critical discovery, because it reminds me to constantly watch my thoughts and doubt my own doubts about God.
Second, I'm not alone. As much as I feel like it, I have to remember that I'm not. Hebrews makes me recall the Great High Priest who can sympathize with my suffering. He knows my pain but, unlike me, He volunteered for the experience whereas I did not.
Fourth, it's too easy to forget the gravity of Christ's death and resurrection. He died, yes, but He also arose in glory and confirmed for all of us who suffer that He has overcome it and will yet again overcome it once for all.
For me, this has been a learning process that has been difficult yet rewarding. I'm certainly not an expert on it and my problems are not magically disappearing, but I'm discovering the height and depth of the love of God in Christ Jesus. And I think, if I'm being truly honest with myself, that this is what I really want anyway.