Friday, October 1, 2010

Dependence On God

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Yesterday I got a text message from my wife informing me that she got an unexpected bill. My initial feelings were anger, frustration, annoyance, disappointment, and fear. How could you let this happen? Why weren't you more careful? How are we going to pay for this? These were all the thoughts running through my head, filling my heart at the same time.

Thank God, however, for my circumstances. I was sitting at an unfamiliar desk in an unfamiliar location around a bunch of people I had never met before, training at a new job I just acquired to help pay our bills. My training required my attention on the task at hand, so I couldn't text my wife very much. I could, however, continue listening to music on my headphones. There I was, feeling helpless and afraid, working a menial task for minimum wage knowing I would have to work extra shifts just to pay for this ticket.

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But something unexpected happened. Lyrics to old hymns and current worship songs played in my ears and ministered to my heart. God was speaking to me. He was reminding me that I needed to let go of what I was holding onto - money and control of my life - and depend completely upon Him. He was quietly asking me for full allegiance to my heart by reminding me of His great love. I felt it, too; like a warm blanket covering me. I remembered the cross where He sacrificed Himself to meet my needs once for all, and I knew I needed to give Him my all.

As I prayed through the rest of the day, God covered my heart with peace and forgiveness for my wife. Those selfish feelings I initially had were gone; I was dead and Christ was alive in me, but only by the grace and power of God. I still don't know where the money will come from to pay for this expense, but I'm resting in the arms of the Father, knowing He is able to do whatever He desires. And it will be good.

All The Way My Savior Leads Me by Chris Tomlin

All the way my Savior leads me
Who have I to ask beside
How could I doubt His tender mercy
Who through life has been my guide

All the way my Savior leads me
Cheers each winding path I tread
Gives me grace for every trial
Feeds me with the living Bread

You lead me and keep me from falling
You carry me close to Your heart
And surely Your goodness and mercy will follow me

All the way my Savior leads me
O, the fullness of His love
O, the sureness of His promise
In the triumph of His blood
And when my spirit clothed immortal
Wings its flight to realms of day
This my song through endless ages
Jesus led me all the way
Jesus led me all the way

All the way my Savior leads me
All the way my Savior leads me


ellentopness said...

I got to read some of your posts just now. You inspire me. I appreciate your ability to remind us of the Truth and the Answer.

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