This past week was quite a roller coaster. My schedule and routine were interrupted, which really threw me off. I didn't feel quite "right" or "myself" because of this. However, part way through the week I realized it and wondered to myself why it had to be like this. The answer, as usual, was me.
So there is important distinction I've learned this week as I continue my 60 Days of Humility. But first, let me explain the first variable - knowing God.
As part of my journey, I have been spending more time in the Word and meditating on it throughout the day because I desire to know Him more. The danger, though, has made itself apparent to me because of God's grace. Striving to know God, for me, can easily turn into idol worship; God becomes less of a relationship and more of a project.
The distinction is this: knowing God does not equate to trusting Him. Though I may grow in my knowledge of Him and deepen our relationship, it is an entirely different thing to put my trust in Him; to take Him at His word despite the circumstances or my own insecurities.
Jesus being a servant, I think my pride snuck back in. If I serve, won't I get taken advantage of? What about my needs and desires? Essentially, I was telling God that I didn't trust Him to take care of my needs, and that I needed to take the steering wheel back.
Really, though, what would happen if I truly served others without concern for my own needs? Theoretically (and according to God's Word), I would become more like Him. Wait... isn't that my ultimate goal anyway?
Imitating Christ's Humility
I need to get back to Christ's humility (Philippians 2:1-4). Paul's other letters were so rich and clear with the interest of others for God's glory because he got it. Jesus got it. I need to get it, too: God will take care of me if I give Him my full trust.